Slacking

I've been extremely slack lately, it's been hard to find five minutes to jot down some thoughts and when I do have five minutes my brain fails me and just wants to stare at the TV screen.

December. It's been so much fun planning Christmas this year and Isla is so, so excited about it this year. I figure we have probably only got a couple of years before someone let's the cat put of the bag so we are really revelling in it for now. Every day she she asks how many sleeps till Christmas, we all can't wait!

Our cheeky, adventurous climber has just learned how to climb out of his cot so although night sleeps haven't been affected, he refuses to sleep during the day. However at 19 months he still REALLY needs a good few hours. So, I'm writing this while he sleeps in and appears to be catching up.

Its taking every (Im)patient fibre of my being to keep putting him in his cot, over and over to try to get him to sleep. It's hard to be mad though, he will climb out, open the door, hide under Isla's bed or try to run away from me all the time saying "Noooo, nooooo". Rascal.

He's also just started making this cute little frowning face when he's hurt himself or when something is "bobo" (broken), every time we leave the house he stands and touches the garage door (currently on the blink), frowning, pouting and saying "bobo, bobo".  Funny guy.

Next time I have some minutes to spare and can kick start the brain I will get onto a Christmas post, otherwise it will be 2014 before I'm back on here!

Halloween Antics

Last year Isla was intrigued by the few trick-or-treaters that we had. The fact that kids got to dress up and get lollies was just too much for her to handle! So there was no getting away from it this year.

I decided to stage a little halloween themed afternoon tea at home for the kids.

Firstly, Nana turned up as a surprise, dressed as witch

 to very mixed reactions!

Followed by afternoon tea...

...and various costume choices.

 

 

Lightning McQueen Racing Car Driver

Later we headed off to the Glen Eden Intermediate School Light Party. Run by the church, it's an alternative to traditional halloween celebrations and trick-or-treating which i didn't really feel comfortable with at this stage in their lives.

The kids had a good time, we bumped into a couple of friends and Isla didn't once ask to go trick-or-treating instead - phew! Basically it was like a small school fair and as long as Isla had candy floss she was happy.

First experience of face-painting didn't go so well, the pirate look only got so far as a mo!

Belle - still the firm favorite.

 

All in all, a fun time and the kids are exhausted today!

My little buddy

It's so nice being the centre of someone's world. At the moment there is no question that I am the little guys favorite person and although it can be a little draining I'm aware it's a fleeting phase (refer tiny being above!) and I'm sure he will soon be all about Daddy, like Isla is. So I'm just enjoying all of the cuddles and devotion while I can.

A few things that give my heart a good squeeze when I think about them are:

• He is such a sweet, placid guy. When I put him down for a nap lately he does his little chubby-fingered, whole-hand wave and says "ba bay". Sweeeeeeet boy.
• He follows me around the house yelling "Ma! Ma!" whenever he loses sight of me.
• When he nods, he is agreeing with such vehemence that his whole body nods. Such enthusiasm.
• Last night I said to him "Can you say Nana?", he replied "Nana". Then i asked "Can you say Grandad?" His reply? "Nana". Ha, so he's got the association right and granted, Grandad is much trickier to say!
• Last Sunday, I sat in the sun at the park while the kids and Francis played over the other side of the field in a sand pit. Several times, my little buddy ran backwards and forwards over about 200m on his chubby, stubby, 18 month-old legs to proudly present me tiny handfuls of sand clutched in this little fists. Not a very exciting gift maybe, but priceless because of the effort involved to bring it to me. So determined and earnest! It put me in mind of a quote i saw recently:

Thanks for being such a great mate little buddy!

Keeping up

I just cannot keep up with these kids!

I have something to write on here just about everyday with the things they do and say that amuse me and amaze me. But if i did that, down the line when they come to look at this scrapbook/diary of sorts i can just imagine the eye-rolling and them chastising me for writing trivial tidbits EVERY day!

So, i try to hold back, but Isla seems to be coming up with some great ones lately. She's such a curious kid, really developing a strong, determined personality and sense of herself.

So today while driving to swimming, out of the blue (as these things usually are):
"Mum, what are humans made of?"
"Well, skin and bone..."
"What else?"
"Organs, like your heart, your lungs to breathe with, your liver..."
"What else?"
"Muscle, fat (struggling to think of other things - where is science minded Dad when you need him!)"
"Have i got all of that?"
"Of course honey"
"But that's so much stuff for a little girl to have."

Then a few minutes later:
"Mum, how do babies get into eggs".
A timely arrival at swimming allowed me to escape that one for now!

Meanwhile, the little dude is in the wars again - this morning he whacked his nose on the coffee table and it bled quite a bit. It's the first time one of the kids has had a nosebleed from an injury and it frightened me a little. Since he absolutely refused to let me ice it with frozen peas its going to be very bruised and very swollen. He's such an adventurer, but pays the price in bruises, cuts and scrapes.

His vocabulary is expanding every day and he joined his first two words the other day, "Yaya, Bye". So cute. He's such a lovely sensitive and intuitive little guy. He loves his sister, the dog, taking off his pants, blueberries and grapes (still) to distraction - can't believe is now one and a half!

A holiday of two halves

We finally got to take our trip to Taupo to show the kids snow for the first time after cancelling last year due to horrid weather and earlier this year due to my surgery. The weather was pretty revolting, but we saw snow! Got absolutely drenched and frozen up on the mountain and it wasn't pleasant. Was pretty sure it ruined Isla's perception of snow and skiing forever, but you forget how kids have an amazing ability to just remember the good bits! Half an hour, warm clothes and a hot chocolate later she was pretty excited that she'd been.

                                           Whakapapa and at Taupo Playground

We've just finished up the last holiday of the year before Christmas. Just over two months to go and I'm already getting excited for Christmas decorations, baking, shopping. Soon it will be time for the advent calendar and Englebert Elf to make an appearance (or "Uncle Bert who comes to my bedroom at night" as Isla said about six months ago. Freaked me out momentarily until I realized she meant "Englebert").

Anyway, the beginning of the holidays started to feel like summer, but it ended up feeling like winter. Naturally we chose the second week (wind, rain, hail) to go away to the beach. Didn't stop the kids swimming however. Crazies. I remember the days when my grandad used to say he would pay us 50cents (big money in my dad kids!) to go swimming when it was freezing like that - didn't even need to bribe them!

It was a relaxing few days away where we did very little and watched a lot of Jake and the Neverland Pirates (Isla's latest obsession). We did manage to squeeze in a couple of walks, bike ride, shopping, the park, the beach a few times, planting the vege garden and horseriding.

Isla was a little sad as her old friend Muffin had gone to horsey heaven (at the grand age of 33) so she chose Splash instead.  So proud of our girl, She helped catch and bring him in, brush him and saddle him up. But most of all proud because she had her first fall, she didnt cry or get scared and she hopped right back on-such a brave monkey. Hah, probably helped that muffin is about four feet tall and it was a fall at the trot so not too much danger involved!

Smaller helmet required!

Little guys first ride - hah, doesn't look all that pleased!

A few catch up with friends involved the Hello Kitty cafe (sadly, very average), the zoo, the Smurfs Movie (Isla was petrified of Gargamel) and a visit to the Seedling store (great fun, but will leave L at home next time!).

Buddies at the zoo - so much fun, Lachy was REALLY into it this time and loved the seals and otters especially.

After the zoo, five minutes of peace for me.

So, it's back to reality and kindy today and a list of things to get done that we didn't get to because of the holidays. Little does Isla know she will be having her vaccinations after dancing today - I am NOT looking forward to breaking that news!

On my last legs

Yesterday Isla asked me if I would be 7 on my birthday in a few weeks. Bless.

I replied "No, I will be 37."
"Wow, will you die on that day, cause that is really old like Bet Bet (currently 88!)".

Still laughing.

Love is like the icing on a cupcake

While driving to our weekly swimming lesson today:
Isla: "Mum, I love Nana Linda the best".
Me: "That's great honey. Why do you love Nana Linda the best"?
Isla: "Because she lets me taste the icing when we make cupcakes and she makes cupcakes with me when it's not even my birthday".
Me: "But we make cupcakes all the time at home too".
Isla: "Yeah, but last time you didn't let me taste the icing". (She didn't even want them iced if I recall..)
Me: "Sorry honey, next time I will let you taste the icing okay?"
Isla: "Thanks mum, but I just think it's best if I live at Nana Linda's".

A case for the family court perhaps?

Little red riding hood.

Isla goes to a pre-school dance class and a few months back she participated in her first show - the level of cuteness just cannot be described. They danced the dearest dance to Little Red Riding Hood by Sam Sham and the Pharaohs.

We were SO proud of our girl. We missed a few classes with being in the states and from illness, so she didn't get to practice all that much. We tried at home a few times, but with Lachy joining in and the dog play-fighting with us every time we dance or run around inside the house it soon descended into just silliness, not anything constructive.

Anyway, her class did a great job, our little dreamer concentrated and did so well. I very much doubt I would have confidently gotten up at her age and danced like she did in front of a few hundred people. So much fun and we are very proud of our little Red Riding Hood!

Snapshot of life right now....

Me: Obsessed with rhubarb cake (actually any cake, but especially rhubarb), really, really want to try a cronut too - croissant/donut hybrid with custard - what's not to love. Sugar addiction anyone?  Also I can't wait for the next season of Game of Thrones and Downtown Abbey - polar opposites but love them both. Waiting is sadly not my strong suit.

Isla: Out of the blue yesterday "Mum, where do babies come from". Cripes. She would not be fobbed off either. Think I'll be ordering a book to help with this one...

Francis: work, work, work!

Lachy: Tantrums! Think the frustration of being on the cusp of talking is really getting to him. Probably having a cold for basically the entire winter has not helped.

Very much looking forward to three days in Taupo next weekend, bring on the better weather and some snow!

Slow down!

After kindy today Isla stripped off her track suit, donned a clean top, her favorite Trelise Cooper skirt (hand-me-down!) and her brand new jandals and announced "I'm going to be SO fashion in this".

Oh dear lord, where does this come from? You have just, just turned four!

Slow down baby girl, and please don't start worrying about things like that yet!

Hurricane Lachlan

Isla "Mum, what's a hurricane?"
Me "It's a big storm, with lots of rain and wind and it's very noisy and leaves a big mess behind."
Pause for a few seconds and in a perfectly seriously tone "Mum, I think Lachy is a hurricane."
Yes, Isla, yes he is.

Baby turns 4

I can hardly believe our little girl has turned four, one short, short year and she will be at school which just seems so grown up. This hit home when she said to me (on the day she turned four) "I'm going to be five soon aren't I mummy?".

Sums it up nicely!

This year we had some of her little friends over from kindy, as well as a couple of other friends after Friday mornings kindy session. Ten kids in all, they had an absolute ball. We didn't go to much fuss, and with some help from both grannies it was very easy on me!

A winning combination of sugar, dress ups, presents, the sun coming out so they could play outside made for a great afternoon. A lovely bunch of kind, well-mannered kids and their mums - so nice to get to spend some time chatting to the other mums outside of the kindy gate.

Mia stayed for pizza for dinner (their choice surprise, surprise) so there wasn't a quiet moment for the rest of the day.

"We stole these when you weren't looking!"

When we put her to bed most nights we try to ask her about her day, what she liked about it etc. after her kindy party, when I asked she said "the whole day". It was pretty exhausting in the end, but that was reward enough.

On her actual birthday (and Maxi dogs - 5!) we had immediate family over for a delicious lunch - leg of ham was a real treat. Again with plenty of help from the mums made it really easy on me. Isla was thoroughly spoiled once again.

Poor Max - not too much fuss about his birthday.

We had her birthday cake and the little miss climbed under the table when we sung happy birthday - shy moment.

Hiding from all the attention.

A new obsession seems to have been born - Sylvanian families or "Sylvanies" as Isla calls them. Had to laugh as I overheard her playing with them with Francis, "My Sylvanies don't have a daddy."  I was about to suggest she might ask Santa for a daddy Sylvanian when she pipes up "Daddies are annoying". Haha, poor Francis. 

Lachy seemed to like the Sylvanians too - well, the box at least. Love that cheeky wee face.

With Aunty Dee in the play house.

This time when I put her to bed I said, "So, did you enjoy your birthday Isla?", "It was brilliant mum. Brilliant means really cool." Already telling me what's what.

All in all we are very lucky with our kind, sweet little girl, who loves birds, animals and insects equally (maybe insects just a little more), has a cheeky, clever sense of humor and warms our hearts every single day - we love you our big girl.

Lachy lately...

The little guy seems to be learning and growing up at an alarming rate.

He:

can now also say - Bet Bet (great nana), Dee (Aunty), Yes, no, bath, wee wee (toilet humor already), basically new things daily!

Is still a fruitarian, devouring all fruit in sight ahead of all other foods.

Gave us a big scare on his dads birthday, falling of a chair and very briefly losing consciousness. After a quick trip in the ambulance and a few hours under observation in Waitakere Hospital we were sent home to monitor his mild concussion. He wasn't himself for a few days. Very scary experience, which has not dampened his enthusiasm for climbing and daredevil behavior in any way, shape or form. As I type this, he's just climbed on the dining room table to get hold of Isla's birthday Sylvanian Family house.

Loves giving kisses, making the lip smacking sound and kissing arms, legs, heads - the dog, whatever is nearby. He's so cuddly, if you can get him to sit still long enough. 

Has really started to get into books and loves his bedtime story. At any rate, it's the longest he will sit still for other than when he is sleeping.

Loves putting things in their rightful order, place etc. Daddy's personality traits starting to emerge!

Tools. Cars. Bikes.

On the other hand, he also loves copying his big sister. Bags, necklaces, dress ups!

Turning it around

I woke this morning after the worst nights sleep ever, which at the moment doesn't make for a happy me!  So after a grumpy start to the day I am trying to turn it around. Some things I'm grateful for...
A husband whose job allows him to be home today
A husband who has taken the boy outside to make noise so I can nap
A little girl who is so brave and clever and has bought her first reading book home from kindy and she isn't even four
That the way I feel right now is temporary, and we are otherwise an extremely healthy and lucky family
Amazing friends and family
Good drugs!

Now for that nap...

Missing out

Gah, I miss those kids so much! It's been 7 days and I'm staying at mums to be, well, mothered. I'm definitely on the mend but it's slow going. I don't remember it taking so long to feel better last time, I suspect being eleven years older has a tiny bit to do with it.

Anyway, it's so hard not being able to do anything with the children, so frustrating. My heart feels likes it being wrung out whoever I talk to them or see how much they miss having their mum around. I "spoke" to Lachy on the phone and he grabbed the phone and was hugging and kissing it. Cue tears!

Isla has been so good, but very quiet and will just utter how much she misses me on her way to kindy. It's the little things like that I miss so much.mkindy drop off, seeing her face when I pick her up.

It's been so weird going from being totally absorbed in the life of being a mum,  where you are so immersed in the minutae of their lives, to not really knowing anything much. What did they have for breakfast, how long did Lachy sleep for, what did Isla want to wear to kindy today?

They are being so well taken care of and want for nothing, but i hate, hate, hate it when they come to visit and leave upset. I just want to fast forward a few weeks when well likely have some semblance of normality in the house.

In the meantime, it's a horrid, hailing rainy winter day so I think I will lie in bed, read magazines and watch Downton Abbey season 3 - hah, ok, so it's not all bad!

Insomnia

Well, in a way I'm relieved Lachlan was woken up at 5am, it means that his little head is fine and we don't have to worry about him sleeping too much with a concussion. Plus, with a bottle and some more pamol he's now soundly back asleep.

Dammit, I'm not. Wide awake, thinking about the hundred and one things I have to do before going to hospital on Sunday. Working myself up into an anxious mess about the surgery. Worrying about the strain on everyone else given I won't be able to do a lot or drive for several weeks. Even getting to and from kindy will be a pain in the butt.

Just want to fast forward four weeks or so and have it all over and done with and on the road to recovery. Early mornings are probably the worst time to be sitting worrying and contemplating these things!

On the other hand, the freezer is full of meals, the grandparents will be doing a huge amount and as much as I like to think the place will fall apart without me I'm sure it will be fine! Sitting here cuddled up next to me in the wakeful morning is my faithful companion Max, pretty sure at least he will miss me!

Birthday Bash

Any family birthdays tend to whip Isla up into a frenzied level of excitement. Francis's birthday today was no exception, shopping for a gift, making him some wrapping paper, staging a photo and making a card from it, blowing up balloons, drawing him a special drawing at kindy...whew, we were exhausted before it was even lunch time.

A great deal of time went into dinner prep for Peking duck pancakes and black pepper tofu salad. Isla was a great help, chopping up loads of spring onion with tears pouring down her face - what a trooper.

It wasn't the best day for me pain wise, so two strong painkillers kept me going. This probably explains why the chocolate brownie crumbled apart and I forgot to add sugar to the damson plum ice cream. Oh well, tart is good!

Then, just before we were about to eat, our mischievous, adventurous, monkey Lachy climbed up and fell off a dining room chair, whacking his head on the wooden floor. His eyes rolled back and he was out to it for a second. He went deathly pale and completely lethargic (no mean feat for one who won't sit still for half a second). So, so scary. So, long story short we were off in the ambulance to spend a few hours at Waitakere Hospital to monitor a minor concussion.

Thanks to both sets of grandparents dinner was still enjoyed by most, Isla got to visit her brother (who she was very worried about) so she could use her wand to cast a spell to make him better, and we finally got home to a cup of tea, birthday presents and a smashed up chocolate brownie.

What a day! Thankful that our precious boy is fine, and now going to bed exhausted. Off for surgery on Sunday and needing the rest it will enforce me to have!

Feeling blah

Something that's been affecting our family lately has been me being under the weather. For more than 20 years i have struggled with Crohn's disease. 

 I've also been extremely fortunate during that time to have had long periods (years) of wellness. There are certainly others that are much, much worse off. I try to remind myself of this every time I have a bad day (daily right now!).

One thing that really sucks about it is it's hard to talk about. Nobody wants to talk about their bowel problems! Most of the time I appear fine, but in minutes it can knock me for six so it's really hard explaining to people how it really effects your life.

And you can't help but compare yourself to others, wonder why you are not coping, don't have the time/energy for certain things, don't seem to achieve as much. At the moment it's a daily struggle to find the energy to cope. I need to learn to cut myself some slack.

We'd never heard of Crohns disease before I was diagnosed, but now it seems everyone knows several people who suffer from it. The silver lining is that new research, drugs and treatments come to light all the time. After years of denial, refusal to change my lifestyle I have finally come to the conclusion that I have to make some lifestyle changes to try to reduce the chances of this happening again.

After this round of meds and surgery i am going to try really, really hard to stick to a better eating plan. Our family eats really well, but the diets that seem to assist with Crohns are pretty restrictive. It's going to be a real challenge for me because I really, really love food.

My greatest, greatest fear is that my kids will have this disease (or any other). You can try as hard as humanly possible but there are just some things you can't protect them from. In a weak moment of tears on the phone to my mum last night she told me she'd trade places with me In a heartbeat. I guess you never stop being a parent!

Onward and upward, back into routine and swimming today, kindy etc tomorrow - fingers crossed today is a good day!

Looking forward to a holiday from holidays...

It's Sunday night at the end of mid-year school holidays. Lately Isla has been going to kindy during holidays to give me a break but this time around we decided to give her a break and keep her at home.

With kindy four days a week, and swimming the other day we don't get the chance often enough for a full day out so we had some grand plans this time. The zoo, the movies, a couple of shows, a trip to town on the train and up the sky tower and a get away to Whitianga with Nana and Grandad (leaving dad at home to do some work on the house).

Sigh, some things got in the way (a devastating loss of my dear friends mum, ill health/tests/hospital stay for me) and we ended up doing only a few of these things but the kids still had a ball. Which is all that counts!

Isla went into town with Grandad Tom to see Hairy Maclary at the Aotea Centre. That plus a Carousel ride and then home to pizza for dinner, pretty much equalled a perfect day for our girl.

Ha, trip to the zoo with dad. Only photo with both of them in it and explains why we often feel exhausted at the end of each day!

 Little guy trying on his new spiderman costume for size.

Hospital visit from a cheeky miss to cheer mummy up x.

Isla's latest cooking obsession, puff pastry, parmesan and olive snakes. Yum, yum. Max also thought so when he stole nearly a whole plate full off the outdoor table while our backs were turned. Also, annoying oven tower in background, now you see it...

...now you don't. Some very find handiwork by Francis, replacing a revolting red tiled bench top with gorgeous macrocarpa (foreground) and removing the annoying oven tower in the kitchen that i have always hated - yay!

We seem to have been extremely lax on the photo-front - fun times also included Aladdin show with Aunty Kim, movies with Nana Linda, horseriding with Grandad Rick on Shiloh (who is apparently going to grow up into a Clydesdale - never mind that she is probably pushing 20 already).

So, a return to normality this week, and starting to turn my mind to some party planning for a wee girl turning four in a few weeks time, and a long anticipated (since last years was cancelled) trip to the snow!

Pets

Max (Maximus) our starter-kid, arrived in our lives at 10 weeks old in October 2008. Purchased via trade me, we had only a photo with his brothers and sisters from which we selected him. He flew up to us from Gisborne and was the most adorable bundle of tiny fluff.  So adorable.

I grew up with dogs (birds, guinea pigs, mice, horses) and Francis with cats but despite that, we had NO IDEA what we were in for. Puppies are definitely a good test to see if you are ready to start a family! Despite the hard work, our little mutt grew up to be the best companion and truly part of the family. He's awesome.

What makes him even more special is that he shares Isla's birthday. He grudgingly accepted the kids into his world and now he is Isla's best bud. He's getting there with Lachy! We love him to bits, but one of the great things about having a dog has been seeing the kids with him - they've both adored him from very early on and seeing their caring nature and love for animals develop more because of him is rewarding.

One of Isla's first words was "waw-waw" (dog barking), and for about a year she called him "Mate" instead of Max. Lachy has already started saying his name and running around after him "Ba".

Even better than that, he provides a great amount of fun and hilarity in our family due to his slightly unhinged personality and just general dogginess - we all love you Maxi and thanks for putting up with us!

Love and shopping

I've just been out to get Lachy's hair cut - its his third, which is pretty good going for a 14 month old! He did very well this time - last time was a nightmare. This time he sat very still, obviously too tired to fight after a strenuous morning of climbing, spinning, swinging etc at Jumping Beans. A trip to the shops isn't complete without a visit to the kids shops. Funny how times have changed, I always gravitate towards shopping for them these days instead of me. It helps that I don't feel guilty spending money on them!

I got Isla a cute new dress and a bargain winter coat and when I showed them to her after kindy she gasped and said about the coat "I want to wear it every day!". Then when I told her I'd gotten her a dress as well she said "thanks mum, you are the best mum in the whole world". Awwwwww. Makes a nice change from the other day when I got told I was a "poopy-bum" (devastating), and that she didn't like me any more (actually devastating).

Also, when I went to collect her from kindy it was story time and in the middle of The Gruffalo Isla leaned over to her friend Ollie (who drew her a picture to take home last week) and said "Ollie, I love you".

The innocence!

Cutest thing in the world....

...is Isla and Lachy playing hide and seek and whenever Lachy finds her he yells at the top of his voice "Yaya, Yaya".

So sweet that her name is one of his first works.

Priorities

So the house is a mess, I've been itching to tidy it up for most of the day but have managed to stop myself. Several times it would be on the tip of my tongue to say to Isla "I'm just going to put away the washing", "I'm just going to sweep the floor". 

But I'm proud to say I resisted the urge, and it was hard. I am by no means the fussiest of housekeepers but there are certain things that have to be done, and a tidy, clean house is satisfying. I'm trying not to care is much.

Why? The other day as I lay on the couch with an upset tummy, Isla wanted to play Mummy and Baby. Her being Mummy, me the baby. I started to cry and said "mummy, I need you", "mummy come play with me". Her responses broke my heart, "No, I can't, I'm just going to do the washing", "No I can't, I'm just getting the dinner ready", "No, Mummy is busy right now".

It made me wonder how often I do put off playing with the kids for things I could do later, or not worry so much about. 

So, today we went to Jumping Beans and met some firemen and squirted a fire hose. We played Lego. We danced over and over to Isla's music from dancing. We got things ready for dinner together. We played hairdressers. 

Sorry darling girl. Mummy will try harder to leave the mess and have more playtime x

Now off to do some tidying!

Spying

One of my favorite things to do lately is watch the kids playing together when they don't know I am watching. Isla likes to go into Lachy's room when he first wakes after a nap and talk to him, play with him, climb in his cot.

I like to sneak down to his room and open the door a crack to see what they are up to. The other day Isla was telling him they were playing 'Nana and Grandads' and he was the grandad. Today I peeked in just in time to hear Isla say "I love you Lachlan". So sweet. Or even "No Lachy, That's not how you do it, come here I'll show you". Such a good big sister.

It's so neat to see them playing more and more with each other. We read them a combined story last night and it was very cute to have them both in the same bed, Lachy resting his head on Islas tummy, drinking his milk.  He is very in to sloppy kisses and Isla is definitely getting more than her share.

Hearing them laughing together has got to be the best thing I've ever heard.

However, some of the conversation is more like 'where are your manners Lachlan', 'don't do that/this/the other Lachlan', 'we don't do that in this house Lachlan'. So it's not all warm fluffy moments.

Will keep up the covert spying for now because I find them so darn cute, I have to get in plenty of practice before the teenage years.

Dilemmas

I love being at home with my kids. At times it's really hard and they test my limited patience constantly. Some days end in tears, but overall I really appreciate the chance to be with them as I know it's a privilege not many can afford these days.

So I tell myself enjoy this time. Once it's gone you can't get it back.

Some extra money would be nice - I think most people would admit to wanting more than they have. I remind myself it's a short time to sacrifice a few things and thanks to extremely generous grandparents on both sides and doting aunties, our children certainly want for nothing. 

Then, then, a really good offer comes along. A great offer in fact. To seize or not to seize? Much soul searching ensued about what I wanted to do now, and in the future. I definitely want to work again, I think it's really important as a role model to my kids. Part of being a strong, confident and fulfilled person is a job that satisfies you and I want to show them that. Opportunities that put you back into the workforce ahead of where you left it four years earlier don't come along often. 

There are so many good reasons to do this. But I woke up one morning while still thinking it over and nearly burst into tears at the thought of what I might miss. My heart just clenches at the thought of leaving them, especially Lachy who is such a Mumma's little guy at the moment, not like little miss independent. I started thinking, will a nanny make cupcakes with them? Will she cuddle them they way they like when they hurt themselves? Will she know just how to make Isla laugh to get her out of a grump like I do? I'm not the best mum in the world, but I'm their mum and nobody knows them like I do. 

In the end, it didn't work out and although a little disappointed I mainly feel relieved. I just have to remind myself when I am having a bad day of how torn I was at leaving them to go back to work and how lucky I am to have them and to be with them for now.

Longing for...

It's really hard to find the time (let alone spare funds) to do the things we want to our home. I would love, love, love to design and build our own home. Our location is absolutely perfect, and we are making our home work for us but it's always in the back of our minds whether we will need more space as the kids grow.

In the meantime, we a doing little bits and pieces when we find the time. Actually it's been a few months since we've had time to do anything at all. Francis tells me i am hard to buy for - i think i am super-easy, there are always tens of things i want at any given time!

Here are some lovely bits that I have my eye on, although mostly i am dreaming...

New dining chairs from here

Lovely, bright couch cushions from Redcurrent

Several of these - to keep our greenery away from little fingers (from Superette)

This for family movie nights (our current TV which was so large in our old home, is teeny in our lovely big lounge).