Feeling blah

Something that's been affecting our family lately has been me being under the weather. For more than 20 years i have struggled with Crohn's disease. 

 I've also been extremely fortunate during that time to have had long periods (years) of wellness. There are certainly others that are much, much worse off. I try to remind myself of this every time I have a bad day (daily right now!).

One thing that really sucks about it is it's hard to talk about. Nobody wants to talk about their bowel problems! Most of the time I appear fine, but in minutes it can knock me for six so it's really hard explaining to people how it really effects your life.

And you can't help but compare yourself to others, wonder why you are not coping, don't have the time/energy for certain things, don't seem to achieve as much. At the moment it's a daily struggle to find the energy to cope. I need to learn to cut myself some slack.

We'd never heard of Crohns disease before I was diagnosed, but now it seems everyone knows several people who suffer from it. The silver lining is that new research, drugs and treatments come to light all the time. After years of denial, refusal to change my lifestyle I have finally come to the conclusion that I have to make some lifestyle changes to try to reduce the chances of this happening again.

After this round of meds and surgery i am going to try really, really hard to stick to a better eating plan. Our family eats really well, but the diets that seem to assist with Crohns are pretty restrictive. It's going to be a real challenge for me because I really, really love food.

My greatest, greatest fear is that my kids will have this disease (or any other). You can try as hard as humanly possible but there are just some things you can't protect them from. In a weak moment of tears on the phone to my mum last night she told me she'd trade places with me In a heartbeat. I guess you never stop being a parent!

Onward and upward, back into routine and swimming today, kindy etc tomorrow - fingers crossed today is a good day!

Looking forward to a holiday from holidays...

It's Sunday night at the end of mid-year school holidays. Lately Isla has been going to kindy during holidays to give me a break but this time around we decided to give her a break and keep her at home.

With kindy four days a week, and swimming the other day we don't get the chance often enough for a full day out so we had some grand plans this time. The zoo, the movies, a couple of shows, a trip to town on the train and up the sky tower and a get away to Whitianga with Nana and Grandad (leaving dad at home to do some work on the house).

Sigh, some things got in the way (a devastating loss of my dear friends mum, ill health/tests/hospital stay for me) and we ended up doing only a few of these things but the kids still had a ball. Which is all that counts!

Isla went into town with Grandad Tom to see Hairy Maclary at the Aotea Centre. That plus a Carousel ride and then home to pizza for dinner, pretty much equalled a perfect day for our girl.

Ha, trip to the zoo with dad. Only photo with both of them in it and explains why we often feel exhausted at the end of each day!

 Little guy trying on his new spiderman costume for size.

Hospital visit from a cheeky miss to cheer mummy up x.

Isla's latest cooking obsession, puff pastry, parmesan and olive snakes. Yum, yum. Max also thought so when he stole nearly a whole plate full off the outdoor table while our backs were turned. Also, annoying oven tower in background, now you see it...

...now you don't. Some very find handiwork by Francis, replacing a revolting red tiled bench top with gorgeous macrocarpa (foreground) and removing the annoying oven tower in the kitchen that i have always hated - yay!

We seem to have been extremely lax on the photo-front - fun times also included Aladdin show with Aunty Kim, movies with Nana Linda, horseriding with Grandad Rick on Shiloh (who is apparently going to grow up into a Clydesdale - never mind that she is probably pushing 20 already).

So, a return to normality this week, and starting to turn my mind to some party planning for a wee girl turning four in a few weeks time, and a long anticipated (since last years was cancelled) trip to the snow!

Pets

Max (Maximus) our starter-kid, arrived in our lives at 10 weeks old in October 2008. Purchased via trade me, we had only a photo with his brothers and sisters from which we selected him. He flew up to us from Gisborne and was the most adorable bundle of tiny fluff.  So adorable.

I grew up with dogs (birds, guinea pigs, mice, horses) and Francis with cats but despite that, we had NO IDEA what we were in for. Puppies are definitely a good test to see if you are ready to start a family! Despite the hard work, our little mutt grew up to be the best companion and truly part of the family. He's awesome.

What makes him even more special is that he shares Isla's birthday. He grudgingly accepted the kids into his world and now he is Isla's best bud. He's getting there with Lachy! We love him to bits, but one of the great things about having a dog has been seeing the kids with him - they've both adored him from very early on and seeing their caring nature and love for animals develop more because of him is rewarding.

One of Isla's first words was "waw-waw" (dog barking), and for about a year she called him "Mate" instead of Max. Lachy has already started saying his name and running around after him "Ba".

Even better than that, he provides a great amount of fun and hilarity in our family due to his slightly unhinged personality and just general dogginess - we all love you Maxi and thanks for putting up with us!

Love and shopping

I've just been out to get Lachy's hair cut - its his third, which is pretty good going for a 14 month old! He did very well this time - last time was a nightmare. This time he sat very still, obviously too tired to fight after a strenuous morning of climbing, spinning, swinging etc at Jumping Beans. A trip to the shops isn't complete without a visit to the kids shops. Funny how times have changed, I always gravitate towards shopping for them these days instead of me. It helps that I don't feel guilty spending money on them!

I got Isla a cute new dress and a bargain winter coat and when I showed them to her after kindy she gasped and said about the coat "I want to wear it every day!". Then when I told her I'd gotten her a dress as well she said "thanks mum, you are the best mum in the whole world". Awwwwww. Makes a nice change from the other day when I got told I was a "poopy-bum" (devastating), and that she didn't like me any more (actually devastating).

Also, when I went to collect her from kindy it was story time and in the middle of The Gruffalo Isla leaned over to her friend Ollie (who drew her a picture to take home last week) and said "Ollie, I love you".

The innocence!